Those last 10 years...

If you can believe it, and I barely can, This year is my 10 year Graduation reunion.  And although I will not be attending, I'm left surprised that 10 years can fly by.  Do you know how many memories, good or bad, you can have in 10 years?  Do you realize how much can change?  How much you can change? 

Pic on the left, is me about a month ago, the right, the year I graded.

The person I was in High School, is long gone.  But that last year of school is still pretty fresh in my mind.  I can remember, vividly, knowing that my life was going to change in the biggest way.  Now, I never thought of myself as a fan of school, but looking back, it was my comfort zone, and I wanted to cling to that for as long as I possibly could.

Our high school had the tradition to play, through out the schools sound system, "schools out forever".  As a student of SRHS, you waited for that day, or moment.  You deserved it.  You worked for it.  It was a good 3 minutes. haha.  But when that song was over, essentially, so was our high school career.  Everything we had ever known, was done. 

Can you find me?

If you know me at all, you know that I am not a friend of a schedule.  They make me nervous.  So getting up every morning, trying not to miss the bus, be late for a class, REMEMBER my locker combination, well, it haunts my dreams to this day.  I'm not kidding.  At least once a month I dream I've missed the bus, forgot a combination- or whatever.  Does anyone know at what age that stops?  Maybe it should have stopped by now... Hmmm.

But to be done with school seemed so... cut and dry.  Too final.  I didn't know what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  I didn't know what I wanted for lunch, never mind make a choice on a career.  Granted I had let myself get wrapped in other things and never stopped to think about what came next. I thought I'd marry my first love.  Yikes.  So when high school ended, everything I thought I wanted- changed. 

I'm pretty happy with what 10 years has brought me.  But if I close my eyes long enough, sit still long enough, I can remember EXACTLY what I felt like back then. I miss having my days looked after.  And my biggest concern was what I'd wear the next day. 

I have no idea what my high school friends would remember me by.  I guess my red hair, Like it or not, that's what everyone remembers me by.  But I kinda like the idea of being remembered-- er, in a good way...

I regret fully those bright lips, but what can you do?

amoung the very young

I have been thinking alot about numbers lately.  Seem like everyday we get a bit closer to something, whether you like it or not.  We have a 3 year old baby, In a 7 years marriage.  This summer I'll have been kicking around for 28 years.  My parents will have been married 35 Years.  I have a 30 year old sister.  30!  It was only yesterday I was 14, wishing to be on my own.  And NO i will try not to get into my pattern of talking about the good old innocence of youth days, but i think I need a minute to absorb the fact that I grew up faster than I planned on.

In so many ways, I'm happy to be exactly where I'm at in life.  But sometimes the numbers don't match the thoughts in my head.  I think it helps that Geoff and I have a few friends that are a few years younger than us.  It also helps that their shadows darken our doorway a few times a week.  They keep us in a loop and I think I kinda love that.

I can quite easily go on in my day to day and not think once about my age.  I just do the things I need to to do for now and I don't think a number has anything to do with that.  Until of course it does...

I think there is a fine line between acting your age and looking at life with a sense of humor.  I think I struggle figuring out how to be a good example for my baby but still being able to laugh at the totally ridiculous.  It helps that I have some of the most funny people in my life.  But at 28 years old, I still haven't got if figured out yet. 

I have this huge fear that I will look in the mirror one day and see a 40 year old trying to look 20.  Or maybe even worse a 40 year old look like 60 year old.  Oi.  I already might, but not from lack of trying.  Haha.

But I don't think I have to dread being older.  I had fun being little and I had my time to be a teen and carefree(well sorta) I had the newly wed years.  Its all been pretty ok.  I don't have a ton of reasons to dread being older.  But I do have a couple of good reasons to look forward....

I dont know much, but I do know this..

For the last few weeks we have been house sitting/babysitting for 2 kids, 2 lovebirds and a small dog we come to love call Purdy.  Not to mention watching my own love of my life.  This morning I had a few minutes of peace and quiet, while the kids were still in bed, and house guests.IE, my sister and bro in law were gone and Geoff was already off to work.  There was not tv on, no radio.  The birds weren't up yet and neither was the dog for that matter.  I had a beautiful 5 minutes to myself.  I pinterested and perused the ol' Internet.  And sipped morning blend coffee and enjoyed it like it should be enjoyed, before I heard the first pair of feet hit the stairs. 

I imagine most everybody has these moments.  You don't have to be a mom, to realize the greattness of a few minutes of peace.  And I think you should do with it what you wish, but don't waste it.  Catch up.  Reflect.  Sit.  I don't know much, but I do know this.  Don't waste it.

Do you remember the old song that was on the radio that talked about advice?  I guess I must of heard that some a million times back in the day, but when your younger, meaning can be lost on you, for no fault of your own.  It said that we should be careful about who we took advice, but to be patient with those who give it.   Saying, "Advice is a form of Nostalgia".  Its a persons way of digging into the past, finding old bad experiences, cleaning them up, figuring them out and recycling the good parts for "more than there worth".

Often times we are bombarded with advice, especially when we are moving on to a new section in our life.  People are only so willing to give you what they have learned to be true, sometimes not weighing out if its good for you to hear.  Sometimes I don't think I could blame a person.  I do believe with all my heart that people need their learning's, or life happenings, to be validated.  I hope that didn't sound condescending.  I mean it to sound the opposite, in fact.  If all we have done up until this point cant be recounted, reused or even, re said, it would feel a little worthless, wouldn't it?

And every once in awhile somebody says something that you needed to hear.  Something that really worked for you.  Even if you didn't use it.  And it could of came from the most unexpected person.  Don't be so quickly to close your ears to all who speak.  Or do.  Its your choice, but you have to live with the choices.

And, yes, there is a lot of sorting to do with the advice, and the most of it can be wrong for you, or not encouraging or even come from a person who clearly doesn't have your best interests in mind.  I know that.  But to discredit everything would be a bigger, unnecessary fight. I'm really just saying, every person has advice to give and they have a lifetime behind them.  So listen, or try to.  Then do with it what you will.  Those people are trying to make their past mistakes worth something.

Anyways, with all the advice I just gave you, the only one I hope you truly appreciate is this.  If you find yourself with a few minutes of peace, Don't waste it.  It wont be long before the first pair of feet hit the stairs.