amoung the very young

I have been thinking alot about numbers lately.  Seem like everyday we get a bit closer to something, whether you like it or not.  We have a 3 year old baby, In a 7 years marriage.  This summer I'll have been kicking around for 28 years.  My parents will have been married 35 Years.  I have a 30 year old sister.  30!  It was only yesterday I was 14, wishing to be on my own.  And NO i will try not to get into my pattern of talking about the good old innocence of youth days, but i think I need a minute to absorb the fact that I grew up faster than I planned on.

In so many ways, I'm happy to be exactly where I'm at in life.  But sometimes the numbers don't match the thoughts in my head.  I think it helps that Geoff and I have a few friends that are a few years younger than us.  It also helps that their shadows darken our doorway a few times a week.  They keep us in a loop and I think I kinda love that.

I can quite easily go on in my day to day and not think once about my age.  I just do the things I need to to do for now and I don't think a number has anything to do with that.  Until of course it does...

I think there is a fine line between acting your age and looking at life with a sense of humor.  I think I struggle figuring out how to be a good example for my baby but still being able to laugh at the totally ridiculous.  It helps that I have some of the most funny people in my life.  But at 28 years old, I still haven't got if figured out yet. 

I have this huge fear that I will look in the mirror one day and see a 40 year old trying to look 20.  Or maybe even worse a 40 year old look like 60 year old.  Oi.  I already might, but not from lack of trying.  Haha.

But I don't think I have to dread being older.  I had fun being little and I had my time to be a teen and carefree(well sorta) I had the newly wed years.  Its all been pretty ok.  I don't have a ton of reasons to dread being older.  But I do have a couple of good reasons to look forward....