Stop me on the edge

Where would we be in this life without a few good friends, and kind words at exactly the right time?  I don't think I have a ton of friends, but the ones I do have are so great.  Thanks to my friends for all the super nice words and helpful advice. You Guys are the best.  I feel less Crazed and have calmed to the whole situation.  Ok not entirely, but I'm putting things into perspective. I'm trying, but I'm a mom.

Among some of the best advice I recieved, was this,  "Panic Slowly" (props to Ashley, and her wise Dad) I fell in love with those words and I think I will use them again and again.  Short but profound.  Words to live by as far as I'm concerned.

Isn't crazy how quickly we think of all the bad and slowly hope for the good?  Why do we do that to ourselves?  I think maybe I'm bad at that.  Thank goodness for my friends that stop me just on the edge and pull me back.  I'm my own worst enemy.  And I dont think I'm alone in that.

One of my long time friends, lets call her Ginny M. ( Or maybe G. Mercer ), is so quick to panic about the worst.  She not only thinks its the worst but BELIEVES its the worst!  That being said, She is one of the first people to always try and say something positive in my life and the strange drama that ensues.  Or if she can't say something positive she can find ways to make it funny  (I give lots of credit to her parents who are just  Great people.)   And not just funny haha, but funny till it hurts.  Thanks for that Gimmy, you can expect a phone call some evening from my daughter--be ready!

 Anyways, I don't know much, but I know this much is true.... If you are fortunate enough to have a small handful of good friends, choose wisely.  Your gonna need them in your corner.  You never ever know when your gonna need to hear..."panic slowly"

Easy for you to say

Today I took Grace Face into have her 18 month check up.  From the moment you find out your pregnant, you frequent the Doctor offices quite regularliy.  I have never been a fan of drs. or hospitals, but becoming a mom gets you comfortable with them in a hurry.

So when I took her in this morning, I was used to the routine. Weight, height, head measurement, Is she interactive?, Does she make eye contact?, Does she sleep well?... and so it goes.  Then on to Listening to her breath and listening to her heart.

This Doctor was not my regular Doctor.  I have had her a couple times and she seems to know her stuff.  But she sure was taking her time listening to Grace's Chest. After a good two minutes she walked over to her computer.  It may have only been 2 minutes to you but to me, time just stopped.  "Is everything ok?"  Words that came out all too awkwardly.  Why was she being so quiet, holy lady, speak!  "well", she said" I think I hear a murmur and I am just going to check through Graces Records to see if there was one in the past."  I told her there never was.  She asked me if it was ok to get another dr. for a second opinion, and left me in the room to wait.

The second opinion confirmed it.  However, not to worry they had both reassured me.  This inst necessarily a bad thing.  Its low on the Cardiologists list of worries.  Don't worry.  Shes healthy and that's a good sign.  Shes ok.  Don't worry... Yea, right.

From here we just wait, another 3 months and we can listen again.  Then from there, we decide if she needs a ultrasound... And they said that is highly unlikely.

Dont't worry.  Easy for you to say.  She's NOT your Baby. Shes been ours for the last 19 and a half months and 9 months before that.  She's been everything that makes us happy and everything we work for.  She's the best of Geoff and I.  She's silly, and stubborn, and smart and a pain in our side.

Now, i guess for the next 3 months, We hold our breath.  Pray for the best.  The Drs. said its common, not to look up on the internet what it could mean.  Not to worry, In all likeness, shes a healthy little girl, and shows all signs of being healthy.  I know that's true.  I believe that's true.  But we're still waiting...

Crazy chooses us

To all my friends who don't have kids, who are married, or other wise, Parents don't want to look crazy.  We don't want to look flustered.  We don't choose the bags under our eyes.  We don't encourage temper tantrums.  And we definitely don't like dragging our kids kicking and screaming into the bank.  But we do it.

Last night at my meeting, I kinda thought, we'll enjoy this show people, cuz the next one, we're gonna make you pay.  Haha.  As Grace shrill screamed her way to the bathroom I thought, if I cry too, who will help me.  Just kidding.  At the bank, when Grace grabbed a couple cookies, then threw em on the ground, I thought, yup, I'm the parent who lets her kid run allover her at a young age.  Put me on reality TV and make a few on me.

I have lots of friends who don't want kids.  They got other things they want to do with their lives.  I don't mind that.  We all make our choices.  If you know what you want outta this life, don't settle for anything less, right?  But I cant help and wonder if those people see me with my Baby and are like, Sure its hard, but she chose that.  And while there is truth to that, we didn't choose crazy. Crazy has a funny way of choosing us, doesn't it? 

When I thought about having our babies, I romanticized it.  And trust me, there are so many great things about being a parent, especially being Gracie's parent.  I remember on the drive home from the hospital, looking at Geoff and saying, How can I only just met her yet can't imagine a world without her.  She was exactly the baby we wanted.  How did she know?  Full set of hair.  Check.  Big round eyes? Check!  Sweet disposition? Check.  She was a perfect fit for a family.  For the first few weeks I had her, I would get so overwhelmed because I knew in this world there are lots of things that she could be disappointed by.  I know that sounds mushy, But when they are so defenseless and so..YOURS, you want to protect them from EVERYTHING.

But here I am 19 months later, and I'm wondering who's gonna protect us for the temper tantrums and public humiliation. Haha.  And this is only the start.  I wonder what 16 year old Grace will be like.  Oi!
Like I say, Parents don't choose crazy.  We choose sweet little noses, tiny little toes' and hands that can only wrap around one of our fingers.  But If crazy comes with it, I'll take it.  Its a pretty good trade off.  No, its a GREAT trade off...

The more we try to be different

Today is exactly 2 weeks until we go to Florida!  Thanks again to my sister and bro-in-law for using up there points and taking us along!  We are so grateful!  Its the first time for our little family, and we cant wait.  I just want my picture in front of that Disney world castle.... Its been my goal since i was bitty to do that...

I know the cool thing to do these days, is to be a little different.  Go outta the norm. March to the beat of your own drum.   I cant be bothered to care that much.  I want the same ol' same ol'!  I'm not trying to forge my own path in this world.  And I definitely dont march to my own beat.  Don't get me wrong.  Im not trying to follow the crowd either.  I just happen to like the popular things.  C'mon, there is a reason they are popular.  Picture in front of the Eiffel tower, yes please.  Family trips to Disney, for sure.  Britney spears on my radio, you bet!

There are things, however, that are unique to me, i suppose.  But their the weird, small things.  I like to peanut butter and bread dipped into mr. noodles.  Sometimes I crave it.  I love the smell of Canadian tire.  Oh, and Staples.  Pizza is one of my least Favorite foods(unless I'm in the mood for it, then I love it, of course).  And I count stairs in my head, although i don't know why.

But when it comes to the big things, I like the main things.  I like to refer to them as "the Classics" .  They say the more people try to be different, the more they end up being the same.  There might be truth to that.  Maybe one day it will become different to like the norm.  Maybe it already is...

All I know, at the end of the day, I'd Like a picture of my family in front of that castle and brit on my radio...



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