Giveme a break...

Our vacation that seemed to take forever to get here, seems to be over.  I'm such a home body.  Unless I can be by a palm tree.  Palm trees vitto all.   Everything that lead up to this trip seemed to leave little time for anticipation.  My thoughts were all consumed by the day to day that it was so hard to even remember that something good was just ahead of us.

I believe it took being away from our day to day, to see our little situation in life for what it really is...

Thank you for time away and moments to breath or I'd be none the wiser.  I would take no time to figure whats going on in my head and I would get sicker day by day.  As many of you may know, I've headed back to the neurologist to get a grip on these migraines of mine.  They seemed to have spun out of control in the last few months and left me drained.  Combine that with the stress of our ever changing lives, I felt like I could hardly breathe some days,

I barely, just barely, could look forward to this family vacation of ours.  and as much as you know I love to vent, I'll save you the most of it.  WhatI needed, was a break.  With broken cars and broken hearts, empty pockets and sleepless nights, Everything good in our life seemed grey to say the least.   The more things that I cant control in my life, the harder it is to just be happy.  The life I want to live with my family is ruined but the crumby moods and exhausted mind.  I had no idea just ow tired we, as a family really were.

You know that feeling when your through security at the airport-  no one forgot their passports,  No one missed their flight,  No one has to work- you made it.   Breath already.  I live for that exact moment. Well, that, and when that humid air hits my face.

When I see the smile on my baby's face when she met Buzz, the kiss she stole from him.  When her feet hit the pool, when I see her tan lines and sun kissed cheeks, Whats really important to me becomes so much clearer.  And its such a relief.  I can let go of a few things that I didn't even know I was holding on to. 

I can write and write about how my life is or how I;d like it to be, but when your low and sick and tired- its all just garbage.  And I think everyone needs time away from broken friendships and hearts, eyes that need fixing or heads that need relief.  At least it makes me a little more like the person I am trying to be for my little family.

Something I've recently figured out is that I cant do it all.  Even if I want to.  I have to say no to things that I cant fit into my life.   Even if I don't want to.  Thank goodness for a little break.

I wanted to share some of our best moments in the last couple weeks-- ENJOY!  We sure did...

  

Waiting...

So remember how on my last post things were looking pretty good, especially with Graces eyes? Hm.  Things have changed.  Pretty much right after surgery she developed another lump.  We had to take her back to the specialist.  But the Dr. said we should wait a little while longer to see how it develops.  Well we booked an appointment for April and away we went.  A couple weeks later (today) her lump got bigger and redder and completely changed.  So I am taking her in tomorrow to see if its infected or what.  We leave for Florida on Saturday, so I was starting to get panicky over the whole situation.  It seems we have bee waiting and waiting for this eye situation to settle down, but its not happening.  At least not today.

So that's the update on that.

We have been really looking forward to our vacation and I feel like we are ready to just escape the real life for a few good days.  Its been so nice to have something ahead of us that's a relief.  Plus all this snow. BLAH.  When is summer again? 

I have no idea if I'll ever get back on track again with this blogging stuff.  It seems like just one more thing that I cant catchup to.  But we'll see.  Maybe in 2 weeks from now Ill post some happy pictures from our trip.  Something to look forward to!

For now, I'll post thepics of her sugery, on Jan 4.  I tried to last time but, blogger wouldnt let me!