My Greatest Adventure...

I have a baby that's growing up.  I was told that it would happen, and that it would happen quickly, but It kinda came as a surprise. But, as ANY parent would tell you, every bit of it is a privilege.  From the day I laid eyes one her I knew she was exactly what I wanted and what Geoff and I had been praying for.

My whole pregnancy felt like and eternity.  I was not one of those glowing mom-to-be''s.  Although, I'm not convinced those even really exist.  Its a story old people to tell to get suckers like me to have babies.  I'm kidding.  i think.  The first 3 months I was sick 24-7.  This is no exaggeration.  I slept on the floor of my TINY TINY bathroom.  I pulled on my blanket and pillow and slept there.  It wasn't exactly comfy but it was convenient.  And the cold floor was a welcome break from the sweaty vomiting.  Its so Graphic, I know.  If you weak for this stuff you might want to skip this.  But as I've scared with many people, when you've made/had a baby, your a super hero and your story should be told.  Ask any mom about her pregnancy, grab cup of coffee and listen.  We have been dying to tell you.  Every. Single. Detail.  Ha.

I felt and looked my best at this stage.. 5 1/2 months

Anyways, where was I?  Once the nausea passed, the next Trimester was my best.  But everyday seemed to drag.  But the was the worst of it.  Third trimester?  I was Huge.  Not just my belly, but my feet, my arms, and my face swelled.  Yea, super pretty.  Haha.

Then, when my due date came around (day 2 of our convention), something I wasn't prepared for happened.  The baby didn't come.  If your having a baby or thinking of having a baby, that's one thing I'd prepare you for.  As crazy as it sounds, when my due date rolled around, my heart and head had agreed to that date-  not a minute more.  I didn't agree to more.  I just didn't.  My whole 9 months, that date was right in front of me.  That's all the being sick, and uncomfortable and swelling was leading up to.  That one day.  I was literally heart broken.  I cried- sobbed.  I had a bit of an altercation on day 2 of the convention and I sobbed uncontrollably for 20 minutes.  True story.

They had had set me to be induced, as I was 10 days over.  I went in Friday ready to have that baby.  They sent me home.  They said it was a busy day but come back tomorrow and FOR SURE I'd be induced.  Well the drive Home I cried.  But sure enough, the next day came and They took me in.

Now the long and short of my delivery is this-  Is was a bit complicated, but could of been worse.  I wouldn't dilate properly and (now this isn't proper terms) that baby wasn't comin'.  A few times they said they might give me a c-section.  I never read up on that, so I was terrified.  But my nurses and husband kept me sane.  And I had a love affair with epidurals.  Seriously, that stuff is fantastic. 

In the end, 13 hours later, they ended up getting a specialist in and, used the forceps, deciding that i was too exhausted and the baby's heart was acting up.  13 hours.  And one beautiful baby girl That I instantly loved unconditionally.  I knew that in that SECOND that I locked eyes with her, I'd dye for her.  But In those first few seconds, I realized more fully, what a scary world we live in and how big a job I had as her parent to keep her protected.  For as Long as I could.

I ended up having to stay in the hospital a couple days because Gracie Had swallowed stuff on the way out so her eating wasn't right.  But Those two days where so Great.  Haha.  I love a hospital stay as it turns out.  They bring you all your meals and take care of you.  I was scared and that felt right.  And Gracie was such a dream baby.  I couldn't wait to hold when someone else had her.  I'd wake up in the night to feed her and I'd fall in love all over again.  Granted, I was in the hospital, where I had lots of help and medicine, but those where truly great memories for me.  I can remember exactly how I felt...

If you don't have and children of your own, you gotta take my word for it.  The love is unconditional and its intense.  Our days are hard and fleeting.  Our babies are, our babies, for our entire life, but we only truly have them for a few years.

 

"I can only imagine where these tiny feet will go in their lifetime. My only hope is that they never forget the way home." -Candice G.

  

Its hidden in the corners

Well, my friends, my summer has been a busy one.  Eventful and fun and great and stressful.   To say its all been peachy would be a stretch.  To say its all been bad, would be a lie.  Most days, it meets right in the middle.  I'll take that, because I suppose I have no choice. 

Our summer here in the north is starting to wind down.  And while I'm definitely not ready for winter coats and boots, you know how I feel about my routine going back to "regular".    I feel as if I've been nesting.   Or getting a late start on the spring cleaning.  Or even better, a super early start!

I've painted Base boards and cleaned closet after closet. I've organized cupboard and purged.  It feels great.  But This cleaning streak came out of nowhere... and I've been thinking it over in my mind ever since...

It seems, or so I've come to notice, that when there is something not right in my life, I will clean.  I don't even know where the energy comes form.  But it comes.  Does this happen to you too?  Its a therapy for me, I guess.  I do a lot of thinking when I clean.  I take out my aggression, I suppose.  Whats to that, I wonder?

I'm thinking, that energy comes from not being able to control the stress that is going on.  My insides can't take the anxiety, so it finds another way to come out.  I'm telling you, friend, My days are full and the big details of my life are pretty great. But there are those things that sit in the corner of my mind, out of plain view of my day to day, that hit my heart the hardest.  And I've managed to turn that into heavy duty cleaning.  Sigh.  I clean out the corners of my literal spaces and take away the stuff that's hidden from plain view.  I wipe the slate clean. Because sometimes in your mind, well, you just cant!

In the next couple of days I gotta sit down and do something that I've been putting of and leaving on our junk pile of a desk.. And I mean that literally and figuratively.  I don't want to take the energy, but it something that needs to be done.  And I'll do it.  But thankfully, I still have a couple areas in my home that haven't been organized and cleaned. 

And, just in case something big comes my way, I'll save the car cleaning for another week..