Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Our Hardest Year

As many of you know, the end of last year was very stressful.  To this day- over 9 months later- we are trying to process what happened.    While it is a success story, it's one of the scariest kinds.  Because it happened to us.  It's heavy to tell. I've said the story many times in the last six months, but the agony is fresh on the surface.  And this story didn't just happen to me or  to my little family. Like any true battle story, it took a small army to survive.

In December of last year our little girl got extremely sick.  She had been throwing up for days and couldn't eat and got so little rest, to the point where we had to take her to emergency.  We armed ourselves with a blanket, iPads, chargers, water and hunkered down in emergency for the entire night.  We had been there so long I made Geoff ask if we could check out.  We were so tired and almost delirious, an she'd been up for days being sick.  The nurse strongly recommended we stay, so we did.  Not long after, they had us in A room.  They quickly gave her I.V's to rehydrate her, as she was seriously lacking and they gave her something to to stop the vomiting.  After a time, they figured she had a urinary track infection and sent us home.  But we turned right around and brought her back when the vomiting restarted.

Well  this time in the E.R. they x-rayed her belly.  And we immediately realized she swallowed something.  When I questioned her, she told me she swallowed a bunch of magnets.  14 to be exact.  12 of them forced to connect in different parts of her bowels and burrowed tiny holes throughout trying to attach.  Her bowels had started to shut down in the process.

Upon seeing the X-rays I started to bawl. Friends- I was so tired.  And now we had an answer.  Without the doctors saying, I knew we had a scary road ahead.  No one had to tell me we needed surgery, although they did.  My poor baby.  15 minutes after taking her X-rays we were in the back of the ambulance on out way to one of the greatest hospitals. Now I can't hear sirens and not think about my baby.

I should tell you, by this time, by request and by fluke, we had a small group of friends that met the ambulance at the hospital. All they could do was wait.  And let me tell you, they were key to surviving this story.

We had to wait out the night for our surgeon.  So they admitted us to a room. And we waited and dozed.  But six a.m. Comes around quickly, and before we knew it we were being wheeled into the operating room.  After being grilled about the blood situation and us refusing to allow it,  Geoff took her in, while I waited In the hall.  When he came out, we felt so done, and, trust me when I say, we were just starting.

Again, when we came around the corner, there were our friends, waiting with hot coffees and warm breakfast.  They were life savers, or at least they made the next few hours bearable. I wouldn't replace them for anything.

Well, as I said, a few hours later, they brought our baby back to us.  Albeit, one nasty battle scar, but I'll take every little piece of her.  We ended up having to stay in the hospital a week before they released us. She had to not eat for days, then it was Ice chips. It didn't appease our little girl, she'd look at us and say- can I have something?  Anything?  Throughout this my heart- our hearts- found a million different ways to shatter.  But at least we had our baby.

We weren't home two days when I realized something was wrong with Gracie again.  She was acting extremely lethargic and walking was near impossible, so after another evening in our e.r. And another long night at home we were back to strollers having more x-rays.  Not hey did find a small fluid sac, that could be normal in her abdomen just below her incision.  We had an extremely good doctor and pushed to keep her in For observation.  Can you believe we ended back in our exact same room?  Although I was tired, I was so relieved to be right where I knew we'd be looked after, should we need it.  And man, did we end up needing it.

The next morning, on Grace and I's way back from a play room, she told me she couldn't walk any more.  We had little choice and I pushed her to make it back to our room.  When I tried to help her to the washroom, all I saw was blood.  I panicked and made her get to bed and I called for a nurse.  Within a few minutes our entire room was filled with all nursing staff in our room.  I was a new kind of scared.  The kind of scared where you know the horrors that exist and being well aware we were right In The middle of an on-going nightmare.  Luckily, within all this mess, two of my good friends showed up.  I don't know what I would do without them.  I really don't.

No one was really telling me what was going on- they just said get your husband her as soon as possible- we we're going back In For emergency surgery!  It seemed she was infected and she came undone from he inside out.  Her insides fell out, essentially.  The nurses said we should be happy this happened her or we could have lost her at home.  If I tell you anything ever in life and you listen, it's gotta be this: always always always go with your instincts.  They can never go wrong.

Well, Geoff got there in time and this time I took her into the surgery.  Never have a prayed so desperately before to be strong.  In a room surrounded by surgeons, interns, and nurses, I smiled at our baby and told her she was so brave, and I'd see her soon. And just like that she was out.  And I was a mess.  I was escorted out.  Time to wait while someone else took care of our baby.  That's a special kind of torture.

And AGAIN, when we rounded the corner, there were our friends waiting with hot lunches and hugs.  Some one to play the waiting game with.  We waited and waited, finally our doctor called and said we were all in the clear, they'd be wheeling her up any minute.  We could breathe again. welll, sorta.

That night, I layed awake and listened to her monitors go off... Her heart rate with go up and then drop so low. She'd moan and groan and sigh.  The nurses checked on her all night and I filled the gaps in between.  I'd talk to her and her heart would balance out.  If that doesn't show you how important a parent is to a small child, I didn't know what would.  I was so relieved when morning rolled around and we made it.  Actually we had a lot of people relieved, including a few nurses.

That was our last HUGE hiccup.  It wasn't smooth sailing but it wasn't so tragic. We made it it but had a long road ahead of us.  In amongst this all, we had visitor after visitor, car loads of gifts, meals made or paid for, coffees bought and brought and the best of all, many many prayers.  If you texted, called, sent a card, a gift, or visited, know you were an answer to our prayers in some way.  Don't ever down play that.  As much as Gracie needed those doctors, we needed you.  She needed you, too.

Well, I know that story was long and sad, but it feels good to get it out there.  Holding it in is hard to,   I feel if I just got it out, it wouldnt sit so heavy on my shoulders, ya know!?  Thanks for listening.  It's exactly what I needed!

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