It might be you..

Why, oh , why are we so hard on ourselves?  Did we do something we feel we should be punished for for the rest of our lives?  Or is it being young enough to not know any better but old enough to compare?  Ugh.  WHY?

The other day, my sister and I were out shopping, we were doing a la senza run, which is enough to make the average girl feel, well, pretty inadequate.  Now lets throw having a baby body in there, and being and oh so awkward red head.  Now, Usually I can handle myself pretty ok in there.  Head down, search for floral and out, hopefully unscathed. 

I don't know if it was the combination of a sales lady that had no clue what I was saying, or at least, believe what I was saying(I wont get into it on the blog world, but ask me in person one day, its really quite funny now) or the fact that I hate myself(only half kidding at this point) but it was AWFUL.  I may never go back.  Well I will but not today.

I also think It had to do with the ultra skinny/chic girl that came in.  She had confidence ozzing out her perfectly manicured finger tips.  Her hair shined a glossy black you only see in magazines.   Not to mention was styled in the perfect mix of haphazardly messy pony tale and perfectly styled bangs.  She was dressed head to toe in black and had the perfect pale skin to match.  How come my pale, ok, almost albino, skin doesn't look like that in black.  And If I'm being honest, black is in over 85% of my wardrobe. 

I wanted to follow this girl home and see how she lived.  I wanted to know if where she puts herself together is as glamorous as she looked.  Truth be told, I wanted to find a flaw, so I could sleep better that night.  Isn't that awful?  blahhh, I'm disappointed in myself..

I really have to pull myself together before Gracie learns any of this from me.  Goodness knows ...

Its pretty funny right?  Pretty sad too?  Oh I agree.  I do know that there will be some who will know exactly were I'm coming from.  And If you don't, your blessed with a self confidence that I cant even begin to understand.  It also means you might be that girl i saw, or at least one just like her.  Which isn't bad,  but could you tone it down a bit. I'M KIDDING.

Well, sorta...